Fikir

gun~ you adalah sangat tough untuk keep on going, you know. tapi it is tougher untuk you let go. so you hanya ada dua choice. take it or leave it. i tabole ambil. so i let go.

..........................

aku tabole concentrate kerja.

family discussion time breakfast pagi tadi dan meeting kat office sebelum lunch tadi buat aku serabut.

lately aku memang rasa serabut.

family desak aku.

commitment kerja hentak aku.

the gotdemlong way back from langkawi juga membuatkan aku fikir panjang-panjang.

dan aku rasa cam baru bangun dari mimpi yang panjang-panjang.

chewah ayat tabole blah.

masa aku untuk diri seniri pun tade.

apa lagi masa untuk family.

untuk baby.

untuk sayang.

untuk darling.

cuti?

cuti my ass.

cuti di hari yang orang lain sume pegi keje.

and cuti pun hati tak tenang.

tak pernah ada cuti yang betul-betul menenangkan.

baik tak payah cuti.

kalau tak cuti apa dapat?

kalau cuti pun apa dapat?

weekend?

weekend my ass.

public holiday pun my ass.

aku slump.

aku broken inside.

and i broke down two times today.

the first time alone.

the second time in front of people who understands how i feel.

yes, you are right.

i look tough outside but inside i am very soft.

i need to be taken care of.

i am not made out of batu.

i am not a robot.

i am a human.

i want to be with people whom i love the most without any distraction.

i want to go for a gathering with my friends without worrying that someone might be looking for me.

i just want my life back.

truthfully my passion is gone.

and so does love.

all those sweet lil thingy happened for the last 1 year.

used to be priceless.

now all of them are meaningless.

and still i will say thanks for the awesome experience.

but no matter how much i love something.

no matter how passionate i am.

when love and passion suck my life out of me.

i will have no life.

..........................

gun~ once you have decided, dont look back. dont regret anything. dan i juga ada fikir: those of gelaran like dato' la, tan sri la, apa-apa la, bila i sudah tinggalkan dunia ini, adakah i akan boleh bawa itu semua?