tapi about 2 minggu yang lalu
aku: bla bla bla... i am that kind of person. so i tak akan worry of anything.
dia: *smiles* i wish i can be like you.
sigh~
yes i can be considered mentally strong.
i can fake a smile while deep down i feel like shitting bricks.
i can wear my poker face when people scold me.
people once (and even now) describe me as cold hearted.
tegar.
keras hati.
hati batu.
sombong.
but they wouldnt describe me as the above mentioned if they werent such an asshole in the first place.
*smirk*
the thing is... my dear... i do not dare to guide you how to be like me.
because you are not me.
because i know myself the best and i dont really really really know if you are strong enough.
i am afraid that you will be broken if i try to shape you; while i know that i wont be broken if people shape me.
many times have i tried to bring people up with me but finally i give up of them and let them fall.
because i feel like they are dragging me down.
then i climb up by myself.
i am not strong enough to let people hold on to me.
i am sorry.
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